Attitude on Bus 30

attitude on bus 30 with sunglasses

Attitude on Bus 30

I am not sure how long looking like a harsh and angry woman on a bus has been considered cool, but it is certainly a widespared behavior today. There are creepy guys out there who this kind of behavior would away, but there are not that many of them. I would venture to guess that the vast majority of people on a bus, especially Bus 30, are not looking for any trouble, so this kind of cold energy is unecessary. It’s easy to say that the reason people look and act like they are so unapproachable is because they are shy or insecure about their communication skills with strangers,  but I would still love to get into their minds to find out what possesses them to separate themselves from the world that way. Buti, I know that I am not going to get a true answer. Instead, they are going to feed me with some kind of innocent bs, such as “my eyes are very sensitive to light.”  My recent guilty pleasure is to watch how people, who wear sunglasses in relatively dark place, struggle when texting, as they can barely see what they are typing on their phones.

“Why Aren’t Guys Talking to Me?”

why aren't guys talking to me

Voluntary sensory isolation at a bus stop on Sutter.

It’s funny that the same exact women in San Francisco who complain about not meeting enough (normal) guys do everything they can to make meeting them harder or impossible. By constantly wearing sunglasses, even when it’s dark, cloudy or even indoors, they virtually eliminate any chance of having a casual conversation with a guy. Such an interaction would usually require (1) an eye contact; and (2) a conversational ice-breaker.  The shades pretty much take care of the eye contact and the i-phone headphones “take care” of the conversation piece. In addition, by constantly texting she makes any guy feel like he would be interrupting her important business of updating her Facebook status.

These women might think that looking unaccessible somehow makes them “mysterious” or keeps the creeps away, but it also keeps the other, normal guys away. The question that they need to ask themselves is whether the price they are paying for looking isolated from the world is worth the benefits. I highly doubt it. We might think that we are very different from other animals, but in some of the most primal and fundamental ways,  we are very similar to pumas, zebras, and dogs in that when it comes to any kind of romantic or sexual encounter, eye contact is the embryo of any such interaction. It’s the very first step in any romantic encounter – whether it’s totally superficial and only lasts an hour or whether it’s a lifetime partnership, or anything in between. Animals can’t afford not having an eye contact as their mere survival depend on it. We have invented online dating, but this should not turn this dating crutch in to a wheelchair, exclusively relying on match.com and alike, which is … too bad.

Half the Looks, Twice the Attitude

a woman wearing sun glasses in san francisco

Going from unattractive to average with sunglasses at the Grove on Fillmore.

My eyes get far more tired from seeing people wear sunglasses at any time of the day, including very early mornings when the sun is nowhere near to be out, and late evening and it’s pass the sundawn, and of course indoors – just last night a woman in front of me did not even bother to lift her “aviators” when talking to a teller. My guess was that she didn’t try to hide her identity and was not try to rob that bank. I wish banks had a new security rule that requires that people fully expose their faces when their enter their facilities. But hey, if many women don’t bother to remove their sunglasses on first date, even if those are blind dates, who are banks to complain? Whatever the reason is for this obsession with sunglasses, it surely serves a noble purpose of making unattractive people look… less unattractive. It apparently does so by hiding a major part of their face, allow your brain to fill in the blanks of that ace with your imagination, which is often more complimentary than reality. That’s why, more often than not – when a person removes sun glasses its more often a disappointment than a pleasant surprise. Puff Daddy must know very well that he looks far more attractive in his shades that he almost always wearing.The problem with sunglasses is that just like a snooty, aggressive stance, they create a huge distance between people. It makes us virtually completely unapproachable and unavailable to a casual social interaction. If you want to keep everyone away, that’s understandable, but if not – wearing your shades all the time does not serve you well.

Every time I blame women for wearing sunglasses all too often and when they are completely unnecessary, I am reminded of the fact that the men in San Francisco are equally guilty of doing the same. Among other things, it helps men maintain their high douche factor. I am tempted to approach a stranger and ask why they are wearing sun glasses, but I know that’s going to be pointless, and I am not going to get a real, true answer. Most likely, that person is to cuss me out and tell me I shouldn’t be so judgmental,  even if my question were to be formulated in the most neutral manner. Or, they would give me the “sensitive to light eyes” bullshit that I will never buy anyway.

One of the most ironic and somewhat hypocritical things is that many people who wear sun glasses are the same ones who complain about being single for way too long and for not meeting enough people outside of Facebook and LinkedIn. Perhaps they should try meeting people blindfolded and see how that works.