Brother

Today, I overheard one guy tell his friend that the night before he actually called the girl he matched with on Bumble. He claimed to have lost interest when she used the word “brother” in the following exchange:

He: lets meet tomorrow around 7
She: Sounds good, brother.  

This sounds like such a petty thing to criticize. Yet, when I tried to put myself in his shoes, I couldn’t help but feel that using this kind of seemingly innocuous word is an antithesis to feminine behavior and manner of speaking, which would probably be just as big of a turn off to me. I just can’t imagine any woman I ever liked refer to me as “brother” at any point in our interaction.

Something Every Future Parent in SF Should Think About

How do you save your daughter from becoming a tatted up, skanked out, entitled Instagram ditz and attention whore who acts like a child all the way through her 30’s and 40’s, mostly caring about make-up, clothes and her social media status?

How do you save your son from becoming a douche a gamer, a perpetual beta, or an arrogant hipster whose life’s purpose is reduced to figuring out how to make an extra buck?

Is moving to Piedmont or Marin the only chance? And do these places provide adequate refuge from the above consequences of growing up in SF of today?

How Meritless Harassment Claims Encourage Sex Discrimination

I have heard a few times a male manager say “I am never hiring another woman” after having to deal with a questionable workplace harassment claim. I wonder if those women who bring these types of claims every thing or realize what a disservice they do the rest of the professional women around. Of course deciding not to hire a woman again just because of one or two claims by one or two women is equally ridiculous, but it still doesn’t make the harm made by those claims any less significant.

Friend Request Accepted

facebook friend requestWhat do you call those relationships that both culminate and end at being accepted as FB friend or a LinkedIn connection? – Some sort of one friend-request-accepted stand? The one let’s-connect-just-in-case-i-ever-need-you-for-anything stand? Or… maybe the one I-am-so-backwards-this-is-the-only-type-of-relationship-i-want-and-expect stand?

Scraping The Surface To Find Hate

One of my guilty pleasures is scraping the surface of people’s ultra positive / bubbly demeanor until I get to the hate that they must have. This is part of my journey to prove that everyone hates something or someone at least sometimes. Usually, the more happy someone tries to appear, the more hate they carry underneath. After all, the unrealistically positive demeanor is more often than not just an attempt to compensate for the inner negativity, stress, anxiety, depression and all that other similar good stuff.

Just today I was hanging out with a new friend who struck me as being genuinely positive (go figure). This is the second time we hang out. As we were sitting at a cafe at North Beach, I pointed at the three women who were hanging out and sharing a bottle of wine. I couldn’t help but notice that they were so decked out – the fancy summer dresses, the carefully arranged, blown out hair, and tons and tons of make up. I then said  – wow, this is a lot of work to go out on a Sunday morning. And then my friend said something that I would expect myself to say so much more than him:

“Yeah, it’s a day off. Shouldn’t their skin be getting a day off too?”

– It was a classic, funny, witty moment of hate and a victory for me. The guy cracked just after about an hour of talking to me.