The Real Alcoholics are in San Francisco

moscow downtownRussians have been traditionally known to be heavy drinker and alcoholics and they are still used as an example of excessive drinkers. You might be really surprised, however, by how difficult it would be for you to find an intoxicated person in Moscow. You might not be able to find even one.

Interestingly, there is no happy hour scene. Going to a bar after work is just not something that people do. I am sure some drink a lot at home or at parties, but you are not going to see people getting drunk while talking about nothing, like you would all over in SF on any given day from 5:30 forward. Just pick any Irish bar in town and go there to see the local “professionals” get inebriated while pretending to be interested in each others’ conversation.

Also, wondering all around Moscow, you are not going to find an area where you can see people act silly due to being drunk (i.e. yelling, singing, puking the Marina/Mission/Haight style).

I can imagine that one of the reasons that Moscow is so seemingly low on drinking (I am sure the situation is quite different in other regions of the Russian Federation) is because a city this expensive has no sympathy for those who don’t make the most out of their time and their energy. If you have to pay $7-$8 for a cup of coffee, you better be “on” all the time. San Francisco is quite a bit more lenient that way.

San Francisco’s New Fad Diet – Intemittent Fasting and Pressed Douchery

pressed juicery doucheryLooking for a new fad diet? Look no more. Pressed Douchery is here.  All you need to do is go to the Ferry Building and get stacked up with a bunch of different juices. Some are quite tasty, while others (mostly the vegetable kind) are downright revolting but promise to have a strong detoxifying effect, while working best in conjunction with intermittent fasting  – fasting every so often for about 24 hours.

If intermittent fasting is too difficult for you, I suggest taking baby steps and starting from intermittent fasting from alcohol. How about treating yourself for an alcohol free weekend every now and then and not getting inebriated like you would do on every other Thursday, Friday or Sat night?

Still too hard? I totally understand. Perhaps you could start with even a smaller step – how about skipping that boring happy hour? After all, you are not going to miss out on all that much. It’s not like you are going to have  a meaningful conversation with anyone there, and those overpriced, greasy bar snacks can certainly wait another day or two.

Main Hobby in SF: Daytime Drinking

drunks in the marina day time drinking

Quality time in the Marina on Sunday afternoon.

If you live in SF and you go out drinking on Friday or Saturday night, you are in luck. You won’t have to wail till the next weekend or even the next evening to bring yourself to the state of drunken stupor again. You can continue wasting your life away as early as the very next morning. A sure way to do that is to have an early “brunch” in the Marina or on Broadway. Brunch on Chestnut  and Union has a special meaning – it means abusing beer before your body had a chance to recover from last night’s debauchery. This is a much better way to start your Saturday or Sunday morning that doing something silly such as going for a hike, or going running or reading, or working on some project you have been postponing for a while. And don’t worry – you won’t be alone no matter where you go. There will be plenty of hangover Brads, Joes and Chrisses who you could join and “bond” over a boring football or baseball game, greasy bar food, and cheap booze. This is the pinnacle of spiritual connection between straight men in San Francisco. Without knowing all that much about the gay community, I am pretty sure that many, if not most of them, know better and believe that they above that kind of entertaining and they deserve better.

A surprising amount of women join these winners by weekdays and losers by weekends in their alcohol consumption and overconsumption journey, which is quite disappointing, since we expect women to have higher standards form themselves and from life and to be generally more refined.

Finally, no douchebag has the right to call him a real SF douche until and unless he commits to daytime drinking on at least some weekends. And if he is under 30, the mandatory ritual at the end of having a few too many is walk down the street and cargo shorts and flip flops while making loud noises or saying something really stupid really loudly and being extra friendly with the people around.  I don’t know if this is the beginning of the major decline of American white male, but it’s certainly one major phase and step in that direction.

Why I Hate It When People Say They Hate Mondays

I hate it when people complain about how much they hate Mondays. There is absolutely nothing wrong with Mondays. Monday is a beginning or birth, if you will, of a new week. It should open new possibilities and new opportunity for every person of every age and every walk of life out there.

If you want to start some kind of work project that you need to complete within a week, Monday is a great day to start as you have till the end of the week plan your work schedule and get it done.

You don’t live in a suburb, where there is nothing to do and no where to go, and where people wait all week long to got out to one or two cheesy bars or clubs they have open for a few hours on Fri/Sat. You don’t have to put your life on hold until Friday evening, and you shouldn’t. There is nothing that you can’t do on a Monday evening that you would do on any other day, including Friday and Saturday. In fact, the atmosphere and the vibe in most nightly venues in the city on a Monday is far better and way more “local” than during any weekned.  Most good bars, restaurants, theatres and museums are open on Mondays, and if you really want to take advantage of any of those, nothing stops you.

The only reason for anyone to hate Mondays is that if they are too hung over from their weekend drunken debauchery to enjoy the first day of the new week, but then again – who should they blame for that other than themselves? Hence, it’s themselves they should be hating; not the Mondays.