DoucheSmirk™

One reliable sign of SF Douche is that smirk that so many guys carry on their face, the smirk that says “I am the shit”. Just walk around downtown and it won’t take long for you to notice that smirk. Mickey Rourke played this part perfectly throughout “9 1/2 weeks”. The movie is older but the Douche smirk is as relevant today in SF as ever.

Word is that SFCunts like douchebags, and they consider this smirk to be an attractive sign of confidence. So if you are a guy in SF who is into cunt-hunting, you might as well put that smirk on your face, if it ain’t there yet.

This smirk particularly sticks out on American men’s faces when you travel overseas, because no one else really has that facial expression. This is one easy way to distinguish a local white guy downtown from a European tourist, even if they were to wear similar clothes – Europeans don’t have a smirk, unless they spend enough time here to “acclimate”.

 

mickey rourke smirk

Da Uber Douche

escalade-uber-san-franciscoMy hate for Uber comes with substantial delay, considering how much criticism it has been getting so far – from biting articles in local newspapers to lawsuits all over the world. Seeing the tremendous benefits of this service, I have been struggling to find something worthy of my disdain till last week. However, As I saw a total douche come out of the shiny Escalade and walking into my office building, all of a sudden it dawned on me. The reason this service appeals to the local doucherati so much is because it makes it look like they have a private driver when they come out or like they are some kind of officials driven by a government security type car. Of course, the fact that Uber is routinely used by tipsy, slutty looking entitled blonds for their bar crawling escapades doesn’t add any glory to the service.

Since in SF nothing beats looking more important than you really are, the raving success of Uber is inevitable. Therefore, now it’s the perfect time to hate on the Uber douche.