Do what every other woman does in SF on dates – start chewing his brains mercilessly with your work problems, and watch how any chance for chemistry, romance and sexual tension fades away as your date turns into a conference room meeting…. unless of course alcohol comes to the rescue.
If you want to be loved by a normal guy, stop making yourself look like a used up, porned up attention whore on social media.
The more matches on Tinder you get the more hard (or wet) you become. No talking, meeting or having real sex is necessary.
It’s not a surprise that the most desperate MC messages are posted during this holiday season, aka desperado season. This is the time of the year when everyone looks noticeably friendlier and less miserable than usual. These are a few weeks when so many wonder what they have accomplished this year, realizing that a few more stock options, glasses of wine, and trips to Tahoe don’t quite cut it.
Just because she acts interested, doesn’t mean that she is…
This morning I had the pleasure of sitting right next to a date at the one of my favorite coffee shops to hate. The date started around 11:30 am (does it even count as a date) and I got a chance to hear every word. They were both in their early / mid thirties. Both looked attractive nice enough. Surprisingly the guy didn’t sound like a douche and the girl didn’t have an obnoxious voice that you would normally would expect in this part of town. Go figure. The conversation itself was not too hateable but it was soooooooooo boring. They touched on every single cliche topic you can think of – from starting with “where are you from?” and “what do you do?” to traveling, preparing for half marathon, hiking and rock climbing, Napa / Tahoe. It was literally the whole package. If cliches were stones, they definitely left no stone unturned.
The surprising thing is that the girl was very good at acting interested in that conversation. Maybe she was..? After all, why would she want anything other than that. I am not sure I know how that date ended, because about 30 minute into it, I just couldn’t handle it anymore and had to leave when it became unbearable – i.e. the conversation about favorite restaurants.
I also realized how annoying the word “cool” is when used to endorse or appreciate something, when repeated too many times. There is something so painfully casual about it. Here is just a random example.
- Did you grow up in the area?
- Yes in South Bay.
Today, I overheard one guy tell his friend that the night before he actually called the girl he matched with on Bumble. He claimed to have lost interest when she used the word “brother” in the following exchange:
He: lets meet tomorrow around 7
She: Sounds good, brother.
This sounds like such a petty thing to criticize. Yet, when I tried to put myself in his shoes, I couldn’t help but feel that using this kind of seemingly innocuous word is an antithesis to feminine behavior and manner of speaking, which would probably be just as big of a turn off to me. I just can’t imagine any woman I ever liked refer to me as “brother” at any point in our interaction.
I met up with a friend a few days ago who (a) has about a dozen job offers; (b) hundreds of friends responding to his Facebook updates and ready to hang out with him on short notice; and (c) a separate folder on his smartphone with just about every dating app that’s out there. I know for a fact that he has gone out on hundreds of “dates” off of those apps. He is beyond laid back. He doesn’t really expect anything from anyone. If he is not offered a job after a job interview, why would he care, if he has all these other offers. If a friend flakes on him last moment, why would it bother him if he can message tons of other people to hang out at that moment? And, if his date doesn’t go all that well, I doubt he will even remember her name the day after, considering his highly active pipeline.
For better of for worse this (type of) guy is invincible or immune from any type of social or romantic disappointment. I am pretty sure that after all this dating “experience” he is virtually incapable of falling in love and obsessing of any one woman. That’s a very safe way to live, which also so damn unexciting.