“always up for a drink”
– translation: I am really bored and emotionally unavailable due to going out on tons of pointless dates, because I really don’t have anything better, as it’s generally either that or Yoga, or… going to bed at 9 pm. I am also on my way toward becoming an alcoholic, or I am already one.
The women are just as confused with online dating, their “kind of single” life, and act like they are much more attractive than they really are. Of course, this clueless guy doesn’t help the situation by asking random girls out on a date instead of first establishing at least some type of conversation / connection to make them want to go out with him.
It was a very quiet evening as expected for one obvious reason. All the many singles, who are usually out, are way too embarrassed to be seen without a date / partner, so they would rather just hide. God forbid they put their social status in jeopardy.
Apparently, some of the female, jaded desperados had a galantine day celebration – this is when a bunch of confused girls try to make themselves feel better about being loveless. How cute.
A good friend shared a funny incident. He asked a girl to hang out. They agreed to meet for a drink or coffee or whatever a few days a later. She then sent him a calendar invite, which he kindly shared (below). I can’t think of a better way for a girl to make it absolutely clear to the guy that it’s not a date, because this gesture is so damn unromantic. Surely, a woman who has any hint of potential romantic interest in the guy will remember when and where she will be meeting him, because that’s something she will be looking forward to. Of course, the confusing Tinder / Bumble sausage pipeline can interfere, but not to the degree where she wouldn’t remember meeting a guy and making a connection in person.
A lesson to all: if you actually want it to be a date or hope it’s a date, for god’s sake do not send a calendar invite.
This morning a new reader sent me the screenshot below from what must be a dating site. He wanted to know whether he had a valid reason to be annoyed with the “What do you do?” question, as it appears in the message.
I have shared my annoyance with the “What do you do?” question on more than one occasion before, especially when it was the first question asked. However, I never realized that it sounds even worse and more lame when it pops up randomly and for no good reason in the middle of an otherwise normal conversation or a message. It just begs for one big WTF.
As I was sitting at the Grove on Mission last night, indulging in one of my guilty pleasures of eavesdropping, I heard the girl tell the guy “Gosh, this is like a part time job after a day job. For the past 1-2 years I have been going on dates every Tuesday and Thursday.” This was a Thursday, and they were obviously on one of those dates. It was easy to tell that the guy has become very discouraged and kind of withdrew from the whole conversation from that point on.
The above incident was yet another reminder of how sad it is that thanks to online dating, going on dates turned from something relatively rare – something to be anxious and excited about and look forward to, to some kind of a joke or a chore – something that’s always available out there, when you are bored and have nothing better to do.
This is what happens, when giving compliments and sober flirting becomes so unacceptable that it feels borderline illegal.