The End Of Ruby Skye Is Here

This is yet another clear indicator that the local, club nightlife is dying. Not to say that bringing the East Bay ghetto crowd was necessarily the best it could do, but it has undoubtedly become an iconic dj club over the past 20 years no matter what kind of shady clientele it attracted. Besides, what can you really expect from a place that’s located right in the center of the city and has a huge neon sign?

It appears that the club will be replaced with a music hall and a bowling alley. This sounds like a serious dent to the area’s efforts to be more and more trendy. Lets just hope that the vibe there will be more “real”, unique and down to earth, than just another place for Irish bar type, glorified white trash to congregate and get drunk.

It’s too bad that Slide will be gone too. Not that it was all that great, but it is a cool space that has been known for good parties, especially on weekdays.

ruby skye

Terminus – A New Bar that Takes Sterlity and Coldness to the New Level

Image

I feel like the demons heard my bitching about the growing sterility and utter lack of coziness in the local establishments, as the modern interior seems to be taken over more and more cafes and bars. These demons decided to feed my hate some more by having the Terminus bar open, which is as uninviting as a bar can be. There is nothing inside that would want to make you hang out there even for an extra minute.

I wonder how many more cafes and restaurants do we need that have the same feel as Apple/Verizon store. It is as if having the perversely modern version of Chipotle across the street wasn’t bad enough…

terminus-bar-san-francisco

SF Happy Hour Douchebaggery – Top Three Nominations

Although there are other venues that are filled with douchebags (and douchettes) from 5 pm forward, such as Perbacco and its neighboring, greasy, overpriced/overrated restaurants, and some of the Marina “hot spots”, the following three has been consistently delivering top-shelf douchery:

1. Kokkari – you can never go wrong with this one, especially on a warm day, when their windows are wide open and you can see & smell the “business clientele” suited up and sipping on white wine.

kokkari douchebags

2. Palomino  – located slightly away from the main epicenters of SF douchebaggery, this knowingly mediocre restaurant is a frequent home to the professional bridge and tunnel crowd who think they are cool, and who are profoundly mistaken about that.

palomino douchebags

3. Americano – last but certainly not least, this place has firmly established itself as Douche Central of San Francisco, and it has been going strong delivering some of the cheesiest, meat-marketish happy hour scene in SF you can find.

americano douchebag central

What Makes San Francisco Less Hip

trashy-irish-barWhat makes San Franisco less cool and less hip?  – The trashy Irish bars that have that permanently settled stench of stale beer, the most unhealthy, heavy, greasy bar food, way too many tv screens, so that you simply can’t avoid watching yet another boring, stagnant baseball game while poisoning yourself with empty calories.

The sad part about the green-theme dumpsters is how many of them are around San Francisco, even in the most purportedly upscale and “hip” parts of the city. This is just another reminder that the white trash disguising itself with high paying jobs, more expensive clothes, and higher beer/wine tab is here to stay.

This proliferation of Irish bars isn’t something that makes San Francisco more unique, more interesting, or more eclectic, especially because these tasteless venues remain to be so popular, drawing bland crowd for bland food, bland alcohol, bland entertainement, and bland conversation. This is surely a bad PR for Irish culture (or lack thereof). trash san francisco

How We Miserably Fell Behind in the Happy Hour Department

dancing around fireWe may have been launching sattelites further up in the sky than ever before, we learned how to use less gasoline, are on our way to making just anything wireless and wi-fi, and we turned our mobile phones virtually into an extension of our bodies and minds, and yet in one important area of life not only have we not reached any development but we have miserably fell behind and actually regressed  – how we spend our free time. I am not talking about traveling or going to concerts and shows, but I am talking about the most common entertainment – going out to happy hours and bars. It appears to me that our evolutionary predecessors knew how to throw a much better party than we do today – thousands of years later.

Sitting outdoors in open air around the bonfire, having a fresh meal made of simple ingedients, telling fascinating stores in front of others that have moral value, preying to any higher power, and then letting go by dancing/jumping around the fire to a drum beat that moves your body and soul and makes you feel like you truly unwind sounds like a far better “happy hour” than having a small talk over a beer in one of the cheesy, stuffy Irish bars that reeking with smell of stale beer, or pretending that you are having a good time at one of the local clubs that smell like puke, that are devoid of any character or energy, as they are full of alcoholics in denial who are so easily entertained by the mainstream, mediocre fashion and music that actually eliminates any desire to move.   happy hour in San Francisco

I think that if those “primitive” people saw how the “happy hour” evolved over the hundreds or thousands of years and what our idea of happy hour is, they would be quite disappointed in the human kind and would have felt lucky to not have lived to see this yet another aspect of our cultural decay.

White Trash Retreat to Remember the Good Old Days

white trash beer bar in san FranciscoIf you are one of those many “transplants” who moved to SF after escaping the hopelessly miserable other 95% of the main land US, and you feel that something is missing from your previous life, it must be the nostalgia about that white trash lifestyle that you are missing so badly.  After all, you can take the girl out of the suburban trailer park, but you can’t take the trailer park mindset out of the girl.

But worry not – San Francisco might not have the space to set up a mobile homes community, it might not have as many gas stations, Jack in the Box, and McDonald’s around, it might have way too many overpriced pretencious restaurants and boutiques, and you might be offended by the fact that so many people dare to walk around and even sit outside and have coffee not at Starbucks, instead having their obese selves properly bound to their cars at all times, there are quite a few estalishments, even in the most “slick” and upscale areas of San Francisco that will remind you of your hometown mediocrity. You know – the predominantly white clientele with some patches of yellow who think that they will blend in if they talk about the same nonsense as their more pale compatriots, and if they waste just as much time drinking that nasty smelling and nasty tasting beer, while pretending that they are interested in whatever they are talking about. Talk about self-induced hazing to belong to something that a rational human being should be embarrassed to belong to.

The good news for is that your experience here will not be disrupted by good music or meaningful conversation. It is designed strictly to remind you how behind we are – even those amongst us who think that we are so advanced. Just look around – what do you see?  – hicks with i-phones. Their Banana Republic shirts and poorly fitted suits do a bad job concealing who they are, but their redneck faces speak the truth loudlly to even not-so-keen observer. This might just be the most miserable happy hour yet.

When in doubt, just look for green color and a name that has an apostrophy in it to make sure you can easily a place where people enjoy each other’s moral, spiritual and nutritional decline. I bet you that you won’t have to look very hard and if you work downtown, there is probably one just around the corner.