Ten Forces That Killed Love and Romance in SF

#1 Feminism

Women have proudly developed masculine energy, voices and lifestyle. Elegance, femininity and softness are out of style, and ambition, muscles, power walk, power suites and power attitude are in. Women are willing to do whatever it takes to prove that they can accomplish anything a man can and then some. Work 12-14 hour days? Check. Sleeping around without any emotion or attachments like men? – Check. Driving sports cars aggressively and flipping off other drivers? – Check.

#2 Sexual Harassment Laws and Pathological Political Correctness 

Most guys (except the finance/law sleaze bags) have become total and hopeless pussies. They are afraid to even look at women, let alone give a compliment or hit on one.  You can’t blame them, because showing interest in a woman in a casual situation today is considered a borderline criminal offense. Small talk and not going beyond the safe subjects are the men’s way this day and age in SF. Even singles events and meet-ups feel like business mixers. Showing romantic or sexual interest in a woman is considered offensive.

#3 Female Arrogance

Women’s uninviting, snobbish, unfriendly body language, lack of any eye contact, and overall stand offish energy enhanced by headphones and sun glasess make any type of flirting impossible. Ivy degree, high paying jobs, generous refund policies in retail stores, and dining at expensive restaurants make women develop this repugnant bourgeois attitude that’s simply incompatible with submitting to love and passion.

#4 Male Douchebaggery  

Men’s overconfident stature and ego don’t exactly promote love either. Every guy thinks that he is god’s gift, and he is too good to put his ego on the line and pursue a woman that he is interested in without regard for the “rules” – i.e. acting like he is busier than he is with “working hard and playing hard”.

#5 Online Dating

Dating apps are popular all around the world, but San Francisco is one of the very few places where online dating completely took over and became an exclusive way of meeting people. When you have an endless stream of too many choices on Tinder, OkCupid, Hinge, etc… you can’t and you won’t stop and focus on any one them. Why bother? After all, it’s a numbers game, so lets just continue dating dozens upon dozens of people. You never know – maybe the next one will be the “one.”

#6 Work Pressures and Resulting Fatigue

Whoever has to commute an hour to work and doesn’t get home before 7-8 pm after an exhausting work day has hardly any energy left for dating, let alone relationship and love. Thus, occasional fooling around and one night stands are the only type of fun that seems to be compatible with pursuing serious career or traveling for work, like more and more people seem to be doing. Work stress of course takes a greater tall on women, so many of whom are simply too tired for love on weekday. The yelp review perfectly conveys that:


#7 Misguided Dating Advice Encouraging Playing Hard to Get

No one wants to show their interest. Everyone is busy and acting “unavailable”. Guess what – if you are not interested, you are not interesting. This applies to men more than women. The fear of coming across as needy and desperate stand in the way of what men really want, and that’s a pity.

#8 Downgrading communication from hearing voices to texting. 

Even if you end up meeting someone who you are really excited about, that fire won’t last without the emotional connection of hearing each other’s voice. Texting pointless one liners simply won’t cut it when it comes to developing real, deep, intense feelings, unless texting is the cherry on top of the cake – talking on the phone when not seeing each other in person.

#9 Zero Effort to Market Love and Romance

There is plenty of marking going on out there when it comes to beauty, style, and sex appeal through magazines, make-up stands, TV commercials and shows. But there seems to be no marketing whatsoever of the emotional aspect of love and dating. Books and magazines love to talk about which make up and which shoes we need to by, what perfume to wear in bed, and how to lose 10 pounds in 2 days, and how to make an erection last longer. Yet, they never ever talk about how to find love or how not to miss it when it comes your way.

The one main channel of marketing of love that has been serving humanity for the past few hundreds of years – fiction literature – has been on a free fall decline ever since the actual book stores started shutting down. Books on business, productivity and self help have been way more popular than classic romance novels for at least a decade now. When people don’t read about love, they don’t fantasize about it happening in their own lives. When they don’t fantasize, they don’t expect it to happen to them. And when they no longer expect love and real passion, they are neither ready for nor welcome it into their lives, even when it’s there for them.

The next time you get on a bus or Muni downtown, look at the passengers. I assure you that at least half of them or more are single, yet they act so damn unavailable, having buried their faces in their i-phones. Do you see anything wrong with that picture?

#10 Love Is No Longer a Priority. 

Everything else comes ahead of love and romance. Work, working out, traveling, dining, wine tasting, trips to Tahoe, tagging pictures on Facebook, and casual dating comes first. Little, if any, time is spent on even thinking about what true connection and love are and how to find it.


Rare occurrence in SF – a guy is hitting on ditsy blonds. ‘At a boy!

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