The reason guys put their balls in can and text the girls they are interested in, instead of calling them, is because women are willing to settle for it. Once women start saying something along the lines of “if you want to talk to me or ask me out, call me”, men will have to step up their game.
The reason that guys are so boring when they go on a date, is because women are willing to sit through coffee or dinner and answer the same cliche “what do you do?” “where are you from?” and “how many siblings do you have?” questions.
The reason that guys completely stopped approaching women in “real” life in this city is because you, the women, have accept online dating as legitimate and exclusive means of meeting men. If you started removing your profiles and if you became a little friendly and warmer looking, the men would have to and would want to start coming up to you and talking to in on buses, trains, in cafes, etc.
The dating dynamics in SF will only start improving when women stop settling for substandard, surrogate version of flirting.