How to Waste More Time and Further Reduce Your Productivity and Mental Capacity SF Style

  • Continue spending at least 2 hours a day on Facebook, posting useless comments, trivial photos, and filling your timeline with utterly mundane updates;
  • Send at least 500 unnecessary, pointless text messages and gchat messages per day;
  • Refreshing e-mail every 10 minutes while at work, instead of doing the work.
  • Stare at your smartphone screen instead of the world around you at least 2 more hours per day, including during lunch and on your way to and from work;
  • Spend at least 3 hours a week at happy hours, drinking and talking about nothing with people you don’t really care all that much about;
  • Spend at least 30 minutes a day on the phone venting to your friend/s about how busy and stressed out you are by your soul-sucking job and/or dramatic boyfriend/girlfriend;
  • Spend at least one hour a week watching football/baseball;
  • Drive over three hours to hike for two hours at an area very similar to that which you can find 30 minutes away; 
  • Repeat all of the above till you completely brain dead. I promise you it will happen sooner than you think.

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