The San Francisco PC Dictionary – A Guide to Being Fake #1

Are you on Facebook?  – I don’t really want to be friends.

Are you on LinkedIn?  – I don’t want to be friends, but I really need a (new) job.

How are you?  –  I don’t really care how you are. Just trying to avoid awkward silence.

It’s a nice day today, isn’t it?  – I have nothing to say to you.

It’s ok, take your time.  – I wish you moved your ass quicker, so I don’t have to be stuck waiting for you to finish stirring your coffee.

I have to let you go.  – I have to go.

I will call you.  – I won’t call you.

I will text you.  – Don’t hold your breathe.

I agree.  – I don’t necessary agree.

“Maybe” – No.

That’s funny.  – That’s stupid.

What else do you have planned this weekend?  – Our meet-up is over and I have to move on with my day.

Yes and no.  I am inclined to say “no” but I don’t want to bother to disagree, so I am covering all my angles.

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2 thoughts on “The San Francisco PC Dictionary – A Guide to Being Fake #1

  1. One of my favorite things to do in SF is taking forever to leave a parking space. If someone pulls up behind me as I get in my car, I make those motherfuckers pay. Turn on the ignition, comb the hair, put on the sunglasses, check the glove compartment, reach in the backseat for an imaginary item, take my coat off, fix the mirrors, adjust the seat. If they roll up to ask if I’m leaving, they get ignored. One lady impatiently beeped her horn at me; I turned on my signal as if to leave… then turned it off and leaned my seat way back for a power nap. I do enjoy my petty torments.

    • Wow, that’s cruel. 😉 I know I would be super pissed. What exactly drives you to do this? And have you ever been on the other side of the situation. I am not asking to criticize; just simple curiosity.

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