Here are some of the traits that define a classic Marina girl:
- (Below) average looks;
- Generally Caucasian blonde, but also comes in Asian and Indian versions, while trying to sound obnoxiously too white;
- Pasty skin, freckles and serious lack of pigmentation; Notorious for not being able to tan.
- Large sunglasses on – 24/7;
- Favorite outfit: black LuluLemon tights, neon tight tank top, neon bright Nike running shoes, sunglasses, and white headphones. Lap dog is optional;
- Body language and mannerisms suggesting serious attitude, entitlement issues, and emotional instability;
- Acts like every guys wants her and walks down Chestnut or Union as if those streets were a modeling runway;
- Obsessed with fitness, eating organic greens and juicing;
- Low, manly voice;
- Tends to overuse such redundant elements of speech as “like” and “you know”;
- Overly excited for no reason, announcing way too often in the most annoying way: “I am soooo excited!”;
- Thinks she is God’s gift to this world because she went to Cornell/Brown and has a corporate $85k/year job now catering to some pointless start-up downtown, pretending to be proud about her most boring, repetitive job;
- Lives in the Marina “because it’s safe” and not because she likes to feel like she is still in college;
- Thinks that getting drunk every Thursday through Sunday in one of the local trashy bars makes her cool and fun;
- Her hobbies are limited to Yoga, dining, happy hour, and infantile conversations with equally shallow girlfriends over brunch.
- An Expert in super fake greetings to friends coupled with factitious, meaningless hugs.