The Marina Girls and Fake Hugs

Here are some of the traits that define a classic Marina girl:

  • (Below) average looks;
  • Generally Caucasian blonde, but also comes in Asian and Indian versions, while trying to sound obnoxiously too white;
  • Pasty skin, freckles and serious lack of pigmentation; Notorious for not being able to tan.
  • Large sunglasses on – 24/7;
  • Favorite outfit: black LuluLemon tights, neon tight tank top, neon bright Nike running shoes, ¬†sunglasses, and white headphones. Lap dog is optional;
  • Body language and mannerisms suggesting serious attitude, entitlement issues, and emotional instability;
  • Acts like every guys wants her and walks down Chestnut or Union as if those streets were a modeling runway;
  • Obsessed with fitness, eating organic greens and juicing;
  • Low, manly voice;
  • Tends to overuse such redundant elements of speech as “like” and “you know”;
  • Overly excited for no reason, announcing way too often in the most annoying way: “I am soooo excited!”;
  • Thinks she is God’s gift to this world because she went to Cornell/Brown and has a corporate $85k/year job now catering to some pointless start-up downtown, pretending to be proud about her most boring, repetitive job;
  • Lives in the Marina “because it’s safe” and not because she likes to feel like she is still in college;
  • Thinks that getting drunk every Thursday through Sunday in one of the local trashy bars makes her cool and fun;
  • Her hobbies are limited to Yoga, dining, happy hour, and infantile conversations with equally shallow girlfriends over brunch.
  • An Expert in super fake greetings to friends coupled with factitious, meaningless hugs.

fake hugs in San Francisco


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