Proposed Amendment to “What Does It Mean to Be So San Francisco?”

In its typical and expected style of diluted rhetoric, The Bold Italic recently published an article about what it means being “so San Francisco.” I would like to make a few suggestions to make that article a little more meaningful and … make it come alive.

Being “So San Francisco” also means:

* Being glued to a smartphone;

* Texting way too much and not picking up the phone and calling enough;

* Wearing sunglasses out way before sunrise and way pass dawn, not because you need them but because it makes you look more cool or less tired or less blah;

* Wearing white headphones 24/7;

* Trying way too hard to be different and in all the wrong ways (tattoos, piercings, weird diet, purple hair);

* Conforming but being yet another non-conformist;

* Prefacing every conversation with annoying small talk, such as “It’s a nice/beautiful/warm/cold day today”;

* Leaning on your car horn for 10 seconds while cussing to let the other driver know that they are in your lane.;

* Spending way too much time, energy, and other emotional resources on figuring out where to go to eat;

* Being an average or below average looking woman and having way too many dating options with guys;

* Making yourself too busy and creating more stress for yourself by packing in way too many “fun” activities and routinely overbooking your social calendar;

* Desperately trying to prove the world around you how outdoorsy and adventurous you are by posting pictures of your hiking, biking and traveling to distant exotic places.

* Spending way too much time thinking and talking about food and travel;

* Believing that food, wine and travel alone will make you significantly more interesting and open-minded;

* Evaluating people by how “well traveled” they are.

* Accepting the ridiculous non-judgmental attitude as an axiom, while deep inside judging so many things and so often.

* Thinking that being called a “foodie” is a compliment, when you should take it as an insult.

* Standing in line at a restaurant, club, or anywhere else just because everyone else does.

* Saying “oh, it’s ok” when it’s not ok and when you are bothered or upset about something.

* Pretending like you are patient and have all the time in world, but you experience overwhelming anxiety and stress and when you feel like there are too many people in your way;

* Going to dreadful networking events and pretending to have a good time;

* Being able to function in a social setting only after a few drinks;

* Looking miserable on a bus/train on your way back home, when you should be looking happy.


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