Five Radical Tips for Women For Writing a Better Online Dating Profile

online dating advice for san francisco womenIt’s easy to make your online dating profile stand out in San Francisco. Just make it less obnoxiously cliche and generic than the profiles of 98% of the other women in town. Here are proven steps to accomplishing this:

1. Cut the Chest Beating 

Almost every girl does this, but there is absolutely no need to talk about how honest, accomplished, ambitious, active, compassionate and beautiful you are. Sorry to disappoint you, but knowing all about how many marathons you ran and how many people report to you at work does not give guys a boner. “I have been to 25 countries, lived in 6 major cities, speak four languages and have 2 degrees” might be impressive to a downtown recruiter who is interviewing you for a marketing position, but it doesn’t make you appear any more feminine or otherwise desirable to the opposite sex, so hold your horses on listing your accomplishments, at least until the second date.  The same applies to your hiking, skydiving and snowboarding stories. Everyone has one, so skip it.

Yes, guys don’t like women who are negative or chronically depressed. But this doesn’t mean that we want someone who is pathologically happy and over the top bubbly. There is a charm to an honest realism, especially in our locality, where being happy, however fake that might be, is considered part of good table manners.

2. Lose the Cliches

Makes sure your dating profile is free of the same lame, trite things that every other woman says: “I like to work hard and play hard”, “I am as comfortable in a dress as  I am in jeans”. There is no need to talk about how much you love food, laughing and travel. Everyone does and everyone says it, which makes it all the less original and more annoying.

Remove the “I am new in town” and “I am (insert geographic region) transplant.” Everyone has just moved here, is super excited about it (not for long) and it doesn’t make any difference. The same applies to biographical recounts, such as “I was born…., then moved to…., went to school in… and came here from…” This is beyond boring.

You don’t need to justify or explain why you have a profile, so you can safely remove the “My friends forced me to do this” or “I am not sure about this online dating thing…” This kind of language is weak and has no purpose.  Lose the “I am not good at summarizing myself” or any other cliche, weak intro. Skip the pleasantries and write something interesting instead right away. Quote your favorite writer, if nothing else comes to mind. It doesn’t have to be about dating or love. As long as it’s something interesting and provoking, it doesn’t have to be relevant at all.

3. Stop Lying

Enough of that “I am always happy, my life is wonderful, I love my job, I have amazing family and fiends, I make the most of every moment, and I am half way toward enlightenment”. You are not always happy. You are human. On some days you are happy, and on others you are anxious, depressed and feel like not getting out of bed. At times you are bubbly, while during other times you are worried about your boss, your performance reviews, layoffs, how you are going to get along with your roommate, and whether you are going to get a parking ticket for not feeding that meter on time. Today you may feel energized, but tomorrow, when PMS is going to kick in, you are going to hate your life and the rest of the world. It’s normal and it’s natural. There is no point in denying this.

You always want honesty from guys. It’s time to deliver some of that, and your dating profile is an excellent place to start.

4. Stop Talking about How Busy You Are 

You may think that sounding like you are very busy makes you sound important and is flattering to you, but it isn’t. It makes you appear like yet another San Francisco work/start-up slave who put her (love) life on hold for the sake of her questionably meaningful career, promotions, and stock options. Women in San Francisco are already known to be super flaky. Every guy in this town has encountered quite a few “busy, professional” women, who needed a three week notice to meet for one-hour coffee date and who would routinely cancel dates with short notice. There is no reason to write anything in your profile that would suggest that you are one of those girls, who are a pain to deal with.

5. Stop Posting Lame Photos  

Log in now and delete all your lame photos. This includes your snowboarding/skydiving/scuba diving/rock climbing, running, yoga, Eiffel tower, eating, and clubbing photos. They can go back where they belong – to Facebook for all your bored friends to look at, tag and comment on. The focus of your profile pictures should be you – your face, you body, and your body language.

The background in your photos can and should be boring. Even an office photo is better than a photo of you lifting weights or sitting by a fireplace with the natives in an African country. Just a quick reminder: you are not entering the Olympics, Discovery Channel or Animal Plant.

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