Why Driving a Mercedes / BMW (and less so Audi) is Embarrassing

bmw douche mobile in san Francisco

Douche mobile parking in San Franicsco.

I don’t hate Mercedes and BMW’s because they are bad cars. They are not. We all know that they have slick design, European flare, and high performance. Sure they are high maintenance and overpriced, especally Audi – the ultimate douche machine model, but that’s part of their appeal. The message is that if you don’t have the money to buy it and patience, money, and time to maintain it, you probabbly shouldn’t be driving one.I hate the image that those brands have adopted by catering to the douchiest of the douches – you know, the guys (and women) who think that they deserve to be ahead of everyone else on the road because their business is more urgent and more important than everyone else’s. These are the same people who think that driving any vehicle that’s not European or German is beneath them. They are the ones that pull up to the douchy restaurants and bars and are being tacky and way too conspicuous in all the wrong ways. This is the reason that I would be embarrassed to drive one, and I also try to avoid being a passenger in one, especially if it’s a convertable.

I guess since douchebags have both the money to spend on those cars and the desire to show off their status by having one, marketing those cars to them is a smart business idea that works and has been working for years now.

It’s interesting that a few other brands an image of their own. Volvo and Saab are lower key,  truly classy European cars that don’t market their vehicles to douches. Jaguar seems to be combining a lot of class and sophisticiation with a fair amount of douchery. While Bentley is reserved for ultra-douchebags.

And of course, no conversation about douchy cars would be complete without talking about another British car maker. Land Rover truly established itself as an ugly, overprice box that breaks down all the time and is expensive to maintain. I am not sure why Land Rover is a symbol of status too, given it’s low all around performance and value. I guess your status becomes higher in San Francisco when you pay more for something that’s simply not good.

2 thoughts on “Why Driving a Mercedes / BMW (and less so Audi) is Embarrassing

  1. 2018 – The douchebag title definitely belonged to Audi for the last few years here in Canada, all the “cool” younger guys with their slicked back hair & aviator shades had to have a S4/S5 or their dicks would fall off (leased 99% of the time of course). Now that buck has definitely been passed onto Mercedes, every douchebag in town has apparently hive-minded together (through instagram no doubt) and collectively decided that C-classes are the new chariot of the douche. I swear these guys get all dressed up just to go across town to run a quick errand, much like women do.

    • 🙂 Thanks for your sharp observation. I am yet to hate on the scooters. Can we all uniformly agree that they deserve to be hated on? I am just not sure which angle to hate from.

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