When You Really Don’t Use It, You Truly Lose It

saint frank coffee san francisco– He: “they don’t have internet here, but you are welcome to use my hot spot”
-She: looks at him without saying a word until he realizes that she needs a password, which he promptly gives her. She then turn back to her computer without saying a word. Not even a thank-you.

I have noticed an undeniable pattern in women’s total inability to make a conversation with a stranger / guy on the most basic level in the most typical, casual situations. It’s hardly surprising. When no one ever talks to you or even compliments you when you are out, you forget how to talk and how to respond to strangers. When no one is trying to make eye contact with you, you no longer know how to handle it when it comes your way. The social muscle of handling minimal awkwardness associated with having the most basic interactions with strangers has been completely atrophied thanks to social media and online dating. A woman who hasn’t been approached by a guy for any reason for years will have a really hard time maintaining eye contact and have a normal conversation with a new person who is talking to her today for whatever reason.

Most skills in life require both learning and practice. Talking to strangers is not an exception. And the above mentioned social / flirting paralysis is a very sad but expected consequence of spending way too much time making an eye contact with a screen and talking to people through a keyboard of some sort.

How Urban Vibrance Has Been Chipped Away From SF Piece By Piece

First came social media, keeping people off the street and in front of their computer for many hours that they used to spend hanging out, socializing, playing sports at local playgrounds, or just sitting in groups on benches and gossiping.

Next came online dating that put most cool bars and clubs out of business, and made the ones that are still in business to be dead most of the time.

Amazon and alike killed in person shopping, taking bulk of the people off the streets in areas which until very recently were among the busiest. Now, we just have a bunch holes all around Union Square, in spaces that were formerly occupied with all kinds of stores and shops.

Extremely demanding, stressful jobs and caring way too much about making it (big) means everyone goes to sleep early and the city turns into a ghost town by 9-10 pm on weekdays at the latest. This won’t change no matter how many more condo towers they put up. It can hardly be called a big city if all the coffee houses shut down by 7 pm.

Movie theaters are vanishing, and the joy of browsing through books at a bookstores and DVD’s at Blockbuster feels like distant history now.

Lyft / Uber emptied buses and bus stops, and the muni rush hour is simply not what it used to be.

GPS means local men will never try to pick up women by asking them for directions. (If that was the only problem with flirting).

And last, but certainly not least–  smartphones made sure people hardly ever look each other and most don’t even notice each other.

So many of the simple things we used to enjoy have been taken away, without giving us anything half decent in exchange. I am sorry, but overrated, overpriced, bland restaurants, trashy bars full of cunts & douchebags, gyms / yoga studios and co-working spaces just don’t cut it.

Unlike many others, I have no desire to hate on tech. There are places out there where tech and soul coexist very well and where computers didn’t kill life like they did hear. So, I won’t be blaming machines for anything. I am blaming the locals for failing to appreciate what makes a city a city. I can’t quite define that myself, but I know it goes far beyond happy hour drinks over pointless business chatter.


This morning I paid $4.61 for a cup of coffee at Siteglass. And for the record – it weasn’t a pourover; it was a drip (like I give a f-ck). Under the risk of making a grossly outdated statement, there is something with this. But… who is more wrong – they are for charging or me for willing to pay?

I am just curious – at what point would people say “enough… we are not putting up with this shit, and we will go back to making our own coffee”. What would be the threshold? $7? $15?

siteglass coffee

I left a 39c tip to make it $5 even so I can really hate myself for this.