Yesterday, my somewhat significant experience in cleaning crap off of shoes came in handy and I would like to share my accumulated and highly relevant expertise in this highly specialized trade:
- Take off your shoes before you walk into your unit. There is no reason to leave skid marks on your floor, especially if it’s carpeted.
- Dip the sole of the shoe in question into the toilet carefully. Hold it in there for about a minute to let the crap soften a bit.
- Turn the shoe upside down while holding it right above the water in the toilet but inside the bowl, and start gently removing crap from the treads with a toothbrush after dipping the toothbrush into a hot water. Make sure that your movement is gentle, so that little pieces of crap don’t fly out of the toilet elsewhere.
- They say everything happens for a reason, so you better believe it, and use this incident as an opportunity to get a new toothbrush, which it’s probably time for you to do anyway. But… don’t give up on those shoes yet, just because they tasted an ounce of biodegradable SF goodness.
First, there were tons of late night internet cafes where you felt welcome to hang out till early hours of the morning and cool dj bars that played drum and bass, breakbeat, trance, or any other soul tickling noise. Then, came social media and online dating. Girls quickly learned that showing the goodies off on Instagram and Tinder is so much easier than putting all that time into dressing up and getting ready to go out. As women stopped going out nearly as much, men lost their incentive to go out as a result as well. This killed at least 75% of all of those spots.
Demanding tech jobs and obsession with working out shifted many if not most people’s schedule, where they started getting up earlier to try to squeeze in a yoga or crossfit class before work and hit the sack by 10 pm. This and high commercial rent has and continues to kill the few remaining coffee houses and neighborhood music bars that just can’t survive on happy hour and a very sparse weekend crowd.
The most recent nail in the local nightlife’s coffin is an obvious one – the city is dead during summer as whoever has money has gotten the fuck out to travel to far lands or to live somewhere else long-term and work remotely. As this place costs more and more and has less and less to offer, and as you realize that you just don’t get what you pay for – you will continues seeing this cities descend into becoming not much more than another suburb, except dirtier and smellier.
A celebration of independence that revolves around getting intoxicated hardly encourages sense of national pride, patriotism and unity, and it makes me sad every year to see that we just don’t know any better.
This is one of those few times when the Marina & Russian Hill are the right places to hide from the the pride filth, since they are located in the opposite side of town and will likely be less affected by this debauchery.