Did you ever ask yourself why there are so many meetup groups and networking events around that revolve around the most superficial, short lived “where are you from?” and “what do you do?” interactions?
Aren’t you a bit curious why so many people in SF go out on one pointless date after the other, even if they don’t have time for or even real interest in dating?
The answer is simple – there is a serious, chronic lack of meaningful, close connections in this city. Moving in and out and moving around the country / world is exciting, but there is a price to be paid. There is no community, no roots, no real attachments and no incentive to invest in relationships that are so likely to be cut short by yet another relocation. Why bother and get to know your co-worker, if either he or you will be working for the next hot start-up next month or one of you (or both) will start traveling for work? Why bother and get to know neighbors who are working toward moving to a bigger place in East Bay or Mountain View
When a person doesn’t have a number of truly meaningful connections, they are seeking a multitude of easy to make, meaningless connections – from drinking buddies, dinner buddies, activity partners, book clubs, and hiking groups to three-minute chatter at a bar. Loneliness is one big reason Facebook and Starbucks made it so big. And Uber / Lyft is the latest business which, besides being a source of casual income and convenient alternative to cabs, allows drivers to have an illusion that they have a social life by giving rides to strangers they have never seen and will never see again.
Your chances of being invited to party with a group of strangers elsewhere, especially in Europe are far, far lower. Random strangers elsewhere, and again – especially in Europe – are very unlikely to express interest in who you are, where are you from, etc… This is not because they are closed-minded or unfriendly. It’s because they have a solid group of close friends who they have known since early childhood, so they have no real incentive to put an effort into getting to know new people. They have enough friends. They don’t have the same void as so many of us do that needs to be filled with that many happy hours and other types surrogate social life.
To be nice in general and to men specifically a woman must be horny.
To be friendly and approachable she has to want something more than a discounted yoga pass, pretentious dinner or a promotion. She needs to be craving intimacy and penetration.
Porn star make-up doesn’t make a woman horny.
Knee-high boots, tight skirt or any other provocative outfit doesn’t mean she is horny.
Straightened hair doesn’t mean she is horny.
Bright red lipstick doesn’t mean she is horny.
Being horny is in a woman’s energy. And that is conspicuously absent downtown. That’s one reason it has that icky vibe. It’s devoid of something that’s so fundamental and integral to human nature, that when it’s not there you feel like the world around you is not complete. That is, if you know better.
Why do so many guys think they are James Bond, and so many (below) average looking women walking down the street as if they were models on a catwalk runway?
Why do we treat fellow drivers as our biggest enemies, honking and cussing them out for no good reason? Aren’t these the same people we greet with our fake smiles and hold doors for an hour earlier?
This unprecedented arrogance is in part derivative of the well known, signature SF entitlement and privilege.
And because the sheep is always true to doing what it does best – mindlessly following other sheep – the newcomers from other lands welcome the corruption of their native purer ways, becoming just as arrogant as the locals. The only thing that’s uglier than an Asian guy with a grin of overconfidence that he learned from his white co-workers is an Indian girl who has a white girl valley accent and who talks about how every guy wants her.
We have been brainwashed for at least a couple of decades now to hone self-confidence, high self-esteem and self respect. We have been told that we are beautiful and smart, even if we are seriously lacking in one department or the other… or both.
We lost sight of one of the most ancient and fundamental human virtues – the virtue of modesty and humility. These have been praised by so many scholars and philosophers for thousands of years, yet today they are way out of style in SF. Overpriced restaurants, valet parking, and exclusive social clubs and country clubs certainly don’t help.
The next time you are excited about traveling overseas, ask yourself honestly whether one big reason you are dying to go away is because you want to escape this horrific arrogant aura that surrounds you in SF everywhere you go, even if only for a few days.
I have been told that when it comes to attitude and arrogance, LA and NYC are just as bad or even worse, but I am yet to witness and “feel” it first hand. In fact, I have been on a quest for quite a while now to find one place in the world that has a more arrogant and pretentious vibe than downtown SF. If you have found one such place on our lovely planet, please do share.
Arguably, wearing a cycling jersey and matching accessories outside of the official race is even more tacky, douchy, and lame than letting your ass hang out in yoga pants all day long. Next time you see one of those cycle-douches taking a water break somewhere in the Marina, on their way to or from GG bridge, ask them whether they are actually endorsed by any of the names that are on their jersey.