Response to “24 Completely Logical Reasons to Date a Guy with Tattoos”

guy with lots of tattoosSome articles are so stupid, and they convey such a counterproductive and nonsensical message that they deserve an elaborate response. The article about the “logical” reasons to date a guy with tattoos is a vivid example of such stupidity.  I will now list and analyze each reason mentioned in an attempt to thoroughly ridicule and undermine it:

1. He has that bad boy look — even if he’s reformed.

There are so many other cooler and more interesting ways to look like a bad boy than destroying your skin forever. How about buying a motorcycle? Or learning how to shoot a gun? Or getting a black belt in martial arts? Or joining the army?

2. He treats his life and body like canvases.

Canvases? That’s funny. To me it usually looks like clean skin turned into a deformed graffiti wall.

3. He’s committed.

Ms. Engle states that nothing says commitment like a permanent picture on your body. Hmm… let me try – how about getting an advance degree that requires being in school for 10 years? Or being married to the same person for 20 years? Or building a house from ground up? Or serving in Afghanistan for 2 years? These sound like they would require just a little more commitment than desecrating your skin.  Nothing says commitment like committing to never having a chance at a real job.

4. He’s mysterious.

Give me a break. First, there are just way too many inked up idiots out there for tattoos to be a sign of any kind of mysteriousness. A sign of being lost, confused and neglected by parents? – maybe. But mysterious? Please. A desperate attempt to stand out in all the wrong ways isn’t mystery; it’s called following all the other inked up sheep, and that herd has been sadly growing way too quickly.

5. He doesn’t have a boring or conventional job.

Sure. Serving coffee or being a bike messenger forever sounds so much more interesting that analyzing financials or legal documents.

6. He can be impulsive.

Ahhh… yes. That’s one reason to stay away from him. Contrary to the author’s belief that this means that the guy isn’t afraid off making mistakes, this actually means that he doesn’t know what a mistake is in the first place.

7. He’s artistic.

That’s an insult to every half-decent artist who has ever lived or produced anything worthy of admiration.

8. He’s romantic.

Not really. He is lost.

9. He looks amazing in a short-sleeved button up.

He looks scary and sloppy.

10. He can take pain.

It’s not that painful.

11. He finds meaning in things.

No. He is looking for a meaning in all the wrong places.

12. He’s not scared of being imperfect.

He is dumb enough to make himself on purpose even more imperfect than he was before ruining his skin.

13. He’s honest about his past.

Unless he spent time in prison or at a forced labor camp, or at the very least – in the Navy, I fail to see a connection here.

14. He’s sensitive.

You don’t have to be or look like an emo to be sensitive.

15. He knows what he wants.

That’s exactly what he doesn’t know, and that’s why he resorts to such extreme yet meaningless self-mutilation.

16. He’s not afraid of a little color in his life.

Maybe he is seriously lacking in real color, and that’s why the color he has is skin deep.

17. He’s no stranger to controversy.

Tattoos no longer surprise, or let alone – shock anyone. They are just too commonplace to even be noticed these days, so it’s failure here again.

18. He wears his heart on his sleeve.

Why? Because he looks like a clown?

19. He’s been through sh*t.

Actually, no. He hasn’t been through enough shit. In fact, chances are that he has been so bored that he couldn’t think of anything better to do than making himself look like a cartoon character.

20. He opens up to strangers.

Of course. He is probably drunk and/or high most of the time.

21. He sees beauty in the obscure.

He clearly is capable. He even sees beauty where there isn’t one.

22. He has a history and a story worth listening to.

And a very interesting history indeed – being bored, spoiled, and mediocre and trying to do the most easiest, the most stupid, and the most ineffective thing to change that.

23. He doesn’t fly by social norms.

He very much does. He didn’t invent tattoos after all. He blindly joined that clan of other tatted idiots.

24. He’s amazing in the sack.

Another unsubstantiated generalization, hardly worth even considering.

Yelp Is a Forum for Entitled Pigs with No Life

I have only one comment to the already obviously pathetic foodie borzois opinion on yet another overpriced, and grossly overrated restaurant – do not come with an empty stomach.  Because at the end of the three-hour torture of being served minuscule portions of crappy, who-know-whats-in-it dishes, you will be shaking from hunger, except there will be no In-and-Out anywhere around.


When Patience is Not a Virtue – Part II (Dating)

talking-to-women-in-grocery-storeThe reason guys put their balls in can and text the girls they are interested in, instead of calling them, is because women are willing to settle for it. Once women start saying something along the lines of “if you want to talk to me or ask me out, call me”, men will have to step up their game.

The reason that guys are so boring when they go on a date, is because women are willing to sit through coffee or dinner and answer the same cliche “what do you do?” “where are you from?” and “how many siblings do you have?” questions.

The reason that guys completely stopped approaching women in “real” life in this city is because you, the women, have accept online dating as legitimate and exclusive means of meeting men. If you started removing your profiles and if you became a little friendly and warmer looking, the men would have to and would want to start coming up to you and talking to in on buses, trains, in cafes, etc.

The dating dynamics in SF will only start improving when women stop settling for substandard, surrogate version of flirting.

When Patience Is Not a Virtue – Part I (Social Medial)

pointless-facebook-updateThe reason people continue sending inane, pointless text messages is because the equally bored recipients of those messages reward them with responses.

The reason people continue posting lame, meaningless photos and updates on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram is because their unworthy of attention content keeps getting comments and likes from those who are equally or even more bored.

The reason confused, ditzy girls with an intellect of a peanut continue posting videos of their ass shaking on Youtube is because desperate guys continue rewarding them with compliments.

Pollution of (social) media with content that shouldn’t exist in the first place is not going to stop until we stop paying attention to it.

The Land of Overfed Bodies and Malnourished Souls

moscow-red-squareIf you ever have the balls to travel to Russia, you might notice something in men’s eyes that you just don’t see around here  – their adoration for the woman they are with.

I suppose that the steady popularity of classic literature that encourages people to dream about fairy tale romance, and the fact that online dating hasn’t found its way into that culture make men focus and appreciate one woman so much more than they ever do in this over-Tinderized city.